Living With Scorpions

Yesterday in church, our priest started his sermon with a story about an old man and a scorpion. The old man was sitting on the beach watching a scorpion entangled in the roots of a tree. As he watched, the tide started getting closer and closer. The man decided to help the poor creature, but as he tried to free it, the scorpion continually stung him. After he finally freed the scorpion, the man sat down under a shade tree to rest his swollen hand. A young man who had been watching the events unfold, began to laugh at the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Young man, I cannot balame the scorpion for stinging me, for it is in his nature. Likewise, you cannot balame me for caring about and rescuing this creature, for THAT is in my nature." Then it dawned on me, I've been living with scorpions and I am the old man.

Children with RAD have had to protect themselves from being hurt for so long that they often times hurt another person before they can be hurt. They single out the one person who can rescue them and then they hurt them, usually with words or behavior. As the "old man" trying to rescue them, I have been stung so much that my whole body is swollen (I'm not fat, it's scorpion stings!!) Our biological son does not speak, so I had never heard a child tell me they loved me. I had also never heard a child say they hated me. Ouch! Talk about a sting. My oldest daughter steals from us. Ouch! One child deliberately damages the things that mean the most to me. Ouch! They don't listen. Ouch! They hit each other. Ouch! They lie. Ouch! They argue. Ouch! They throw things. Ouch! I can feel my body swelling as I type. I cannot stop loving these children, and they cannot stop stinging me. My love for them can only get stronger, but as I keep loving them, and guiding them, and giving them boundaries, their stinging will lessen, and then, they will posess within themselves the ointment to soothe my scorpion stings, as well as some of their own stings. I just pray I never become immune to their stings, for that will be the time I lose what is in my nature, and I cease to care at all.