Holy Major Meltdown, Batman!!!!

It's been building since Christmas. It could be sadness because all the magic is over for 11 months. It could be the weather. Most would not argue that 2 foot of snow is enough to have on the ground at a time. It could just be a reaction to everything that is going on here at home. It was destined to happen. I was ready for it. Talk about crying, kicking and screaming, and a total emotional explosion. Okay, so I didn't kick and scream. Yes! I'm talking about my meltdown. I was at the end of my rope. Forget tying a knot and hanging on. I wanted to tie a noose and jump off. I had been pushed to my limit and no one was listening. E had a counselor appointment, and I spent most of it sobbing because I had lost control and nobody seemed to care. I haven't "hurt" that bad in a long time. The counselor's suggestion-- you need a break. I didn't need to go to a counselor to find that out. The tough thing was getting the break. When we got home from the appointment, I told my husband about the meltdown. He was sympathetic, but not very helpful. E had wittnessed the whole thing, yet, she knew I was at the breaking point, and pushed me even further. I decided I was taking two days off no matter what. I chose Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday, today, we had a snowstorm and the kids were home from school. Tomorrow will probably be a 2 hour delay. So much for my break!

I did get a little time off this afternoon. A friend watched the kids so I could work on cleaning the basement. Not my idea of a day off, but productive anyway. I am starting to feel like I can cope a little better now, but I still need an attitude adjustment. Not sure what the next few days hold, but gonna try to recharge myself somewhere in there. There is so much to be done around here, but I have got to get myself back before I lose myself completely. I have been praying for some help. I know I can handle anything the Lord dishes out, but that doesn't mean it will be easy. I do know that the kids don't function very well when I'm out of sorts (duh!) Maybe we can bake cookies tomorrow, since I don't think I will get my day off. Gotta think positive. I've lost sight of the goal, healing for all of my kids. It's coming back slowly. Just got to get a little "me" time, and I know all will be right with the world.