It's Better and It's Not-- Welcome to RAD Parenting 101

I really thought things were getting better with my husband. He was starting to control his anger and the swearing. For some reason, he cannot control the "nit-picking." I didn't stack the dishes right for him to do dishes tonight. He thought that E should be able to do two days of dishes by herself and get a shower in half an hour. He knows that she hates doing dishes more than pretty much anything, so that is the job he chooses for her when he wants to make her mad. I don't understand the deliberately ticking someone off tactic. He also likes to set her up to fail. I like bliss. There's a new bridal shop in a nearby town called Bliss, and I sooo want to steal the sign. The fact that it is less than a mile from the Highway Patrol office might be a huge deturrant, along with the fact that I actually have an over-active concience. My goal is to defuse any potential explosion with the least amount of spark while still maintaining a backbone. I don't give in to avoid conflict. I redirect, I joke, I speak with compassion without folding, I pick my nose (that one gets them almost everytime, LOL) I am blessed with a very creative personality. I can defuse E almost 95% of the time, if my husband doesn't jump in and try to control the situation. She tells me she loves me all the time, and I am starting to think she understands what she is saying. She is making so much progress when I am doing the parenting. When my husband steps in, she reverts back to ground zero. She hates herself when she does that, but he pushes her buttons as much as she pushes his. It's a power struggle and a lose/ lose situation. I've used my complete theraputic partenting arsenal on my husband, but it does not work. He believes that punishment and ridicule is the only way to parent. I have total faith that my expert parenting technique (okay- my stubborness) will win out with him in the end, and we will be able to parent our cherubim to a life of love and acceptance. I'm just getting tired, and really question if 23 years of sobriety is enough!! Getting really excited about going back to school. There's so much potential in this area for attachment disorder services. I don't feel I'll ever be an expert, but I don't want any parent to go through what I did when my kids were first diagnosed. No parent should have to diagnose their own children and fight with social services and the school system to prove there is something wrong with the way they are dealing with this child. It's so lonely parenting attachment disorder anyway. There needs to be someone in there corner from the beginning. My husband's surgery is rescheduled for the 7th. He started getting more cars to work on so we could get a little more income, and now he will have to turn them down so he can have the surgery. It's a good thing that his diabetes is under control, but we needed a little more time to get some money coming in so we won't fall behind. I know we'll be okay. Just need more hard work and prayer! A very dear friend of mine passed away last week. I did not find out until the day after the funeral. It has been very difficult for me, because she was so special and I could not be there in the end. I know she understands, I'm just having a hard time forgiving myself. Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire. This post sure makes me sound like a martyer (I'll spell it right later.) I have that tendency anyway. I have a genetic predisposition to it, thanks to my mother. I once joked to her that all of the women in her family thought they were martyers. She just smiled and said, "We don't think we are. We know." Gotta love that. I'm not looking for someone to tell me what an incredible job I am doing. I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay to feel that I'm doing a good job. I can do this! My family is worth it, and so am I.