Warball, Anyone?

Remember that game you always played in junior high where the two teams face off from oppisite sides of the gym? There's about 15 playground balls, and you throw them at the other team. You have to try to hit the other players with the ball before they touch the floor. If you catch it, the thrower is out and you get to bring a teammate who was out back into the game. Most people call it dodge ball or gym ball. At my school, we called it "Warball." These last few weeks, my life has been a constant game of warball. I've been pretty good at dodging the ball. Sometimes, I can actually feel it pass my head, but I've never gotten out. I even caught a few balls and stayed in the game when it wasn't looking like I had a chance. I was pretty good at warball in school. I guess the "skill" stayed with me.

My husband was supposed to have carpal tunnel surgery yesterday. The day before, the doctor's office called and said they had to cancel the surgery because his blood sugar was too high. The doctor wanted to see him the next day. I went with him, mostly because I have worked forever in the medical field, and I know what questions to ask. You guessed it. He has adult onset diabetes. He was floored. I was surprised they didn't diagnose it years ago. The doctor discussed his meds and the diet. My husband was not too thrilled. Me? I'm so excited!! Now we both have a reason to eat right. He has to learn what is healthy, and since I refuse to cook different things for the same meal, I have to eat right, too. This is what I have been praying for. I'm not saying that I wanted my husband to have diabetes. I wanted to get this family on a healthy diet so we can spend as many years together as possible. Now, he has to listen to the doctor, and I have to make it as easy as possible. If that means eating healthier, I'm all for it. WHAP!! I caught that ball!

E has been wanting to spend more time with her friends. She has some great girls in her class, and I would love for them to be a positve influence on her. Unfortunately, she has really gone backwards in her healing since I had my famous meltdown. I have never heard a child mouth-off (or as Supernanny says, backchat) like she does. She absolutely has to have the last word, whether she's a part of the conversation or not. She is growing into a beautiful, talented, caring child, but her mouth seems to be posessed by an evil troll. She also apparently thinks she is exempt from doing homework. We have been really working on the homework, but the backchat is getting worse. Monday, she came home from school wanting to go to a sleepover at a friend's house. She told her friend that she wasn't sure if she could come because she would have to do all of her homework and not mouth-off for the rest of the week. Her friend says, "Well, duh!! You should be able to do that all the time!" I knew there was something I liked about that girl! My husband and I decided she was not ready for the sleepover, but if she worked really hard the rest of the week, she could go home with her on the bus and I could pick her up in a few hours. She was NOT happy about this. She tried to throw a fit, but she maintained control. She tried to bargain with me, but I'm like a brick wall, immovable. She finally decided that some playtime is better than none. I still wasn't sure she could go. She had a few "ify" moments this week, but for the most part, she really worked hard on her homework and her attitude. She was so excited this morning when I told her she could go. When she got to school, her friend told her she couldn't come over because there was a change in plans. She'd have to reschedule the sleepover. I'm hoping it's not for about a month. If E keeps doing as well as she has this last week, she'll be ready for that sleepover. WHOOSH! Dodged that ball.

Had to teach a lesson in religion class that I really did not feel knowlegable enough to teach. Thanks to the internet, (and my singing voice,) ZAP! Caught that ball. I hate running errands on a schecule. B and E both broke their glasses. D's leg braces needed to be flaired. Husband had his pre-op physical (the one that probably saved his life.) C needed to be picked up from preschool at 1:30, and the sitter didn't get there until 10:30. Dropped the braces off, walked across the street to get the glasses fixed, picked up the braces, drove 45 minutes to pick up C. Husband went alone to doctor's. Had no gas left in the van, but ZIP! Caught that ball. I dodged a few other balls in the chaos of these last few weeks, but I'm still very much in the game.

I loved warball as a kid, probably because I was good at it and I knew it. Though I'd been knocked out of the game a few weeks before, these past few weeks, that feeling of confidence came back. I know I'm good at this game we call life. I can even take a bad thing and turn it around into a blessing. I have a safety net in place so I should not have another meltdown. I am getting really good at seeing the silver lining in the clouds. If I hold on to this great attitude, I'll be able to fit into that little black dress by the end of summer. Now that's a ball worth catching!

Love Is In The Air

It could have something to do with the fact that Valentine's Day is less than a week away, but I really think is has to do with my recent "breakdown" and the fact that I'M BACK!!!!!!! I'm finding I love a lot of things lately. My wonderful husband gave me a day off to myself, then took me away for the whole day Saturday. He even went to church with me. It was great. I finally feel like I can take on the world-- well, atleast, this family. I love feeling great about life again!

I love melatonin. It's the chemical your body produces to induce sleep. Some people just never produce enough, so you can buy it over the counter. It works, it works, it works!! My precious B who never sleeps has to be awakened in the morning. She's happier and more alert during the day. She doesn't even seem as hyper. It's natural, and non-habit forming. Trying it on A and E tonight. I've even tried it. It's a great night's sleep without the "hangover" of p.m. medications.

I love Valentine's Day. OMGosh! Did I really say that? I've always hated Valentine's Day. Since it is also my birthday, it's a double whammy of disappointment. You can't go out to eat 'cuz the lines are too long. The flowers and candy are over-priced, and everbody figures since it's your birthday, you don't need to celebrate Valentine's Day, too. My hubby, however, sees the value in celebrating both, HE GETS TO STAY MARRIED TO ME!! He really is a great guy, now that I have him trained. I even volunteered to be on the party committee for my kindergartener. I never do that! I put up decorations and plan to make a special dessert for the occasion. Not sure yet what it will be, but I plan to do it!!

I love Iowa. It's 3 below zero, there's about 2 foot of snow on the ground, and there's a layer of ice on everything, but I still love it. I know that Spring will be here whenever it feels like it, and wishing for it does not make it happen any sooner. Sooo, I look for the silver lining in all of this frozen precipitation. If I leave my water bottle in the van, the water stays cold (not to mention, solid!) Hockey is my favorite sport and it cannot be played without ice. I love my fireplace. Snuggling is better when you're not all hot and sweaty. The hot tub is actually really relaxing when it's below freezing. And my favorite reason to love the Iowa weather, snowball fights on a frozen lake.

I love "Blogland." There's a blog out there for everyone. Of course, I love the crafting blogs. Talk about creative people. My "to do" list would take me three lifetimes to complete, but I just keep adding to it. There are blogs for RAD. These are the best. They are so supportive, and human! Whenever I'm feeling like I just can't do this "trama mama" parenting, I just read one of these blogs, and I get the stick-to-itness I need. There are blogs on cooking, gardening, traveling, religion, you name it. There are some questionable blogs, and some that are just down-right nasty, but I just stay away from them. I think I find a new blog everyday to add to my favorites.

I'm starting to love ME. It's nearly impossible for me to say that. In all of my 48 years (come Valentine's Day, LOL) I cannot pick a time when I was comfortable with myself. Now, I think I can truely say I have loved my 40s. I'm consciously making an effort to improve myself, my parenting, my looks, my habits. I've still got a long way to go, but it's getting better in more ways than one. When I was growing up, we had a banner in our church that read, "I am me and I am good 'cuz God don't make junk." Incorrect grammar aside, this is about the goodest saying there is.

Lately, I have discovered one other thing that I really love, satin sheets. I litterally slide into bed, but the feeling, once I stop slip sliding away, is pure bliss. Gonna go and slip between those sheets now. The melatonin is kicking in.

Holy Major Meltdown, Batman!!!!

It's been building since Christmas. It could be sadness because all the magic is over for 11 months. It could be the weather. Most would not argue that 2 foot of snow is enough to have on the ground at a time. It could just be a reaction to everything that is going on here at home. It was destined to happen. I was ready for it. Talk about crying, kicking and screaming, and a total emotional explosion. Okay, so I didn't kick and scream. Yes! I'm talking about my meltdown. I was at the end of my rope. Forget tying a knot and hanging on. I wanted to tie a noose and jump off. I had been pushed to my limit and no one was listening. E had a counselor appointment, and I spent most of it sobbing because I had lost control and nobody seemed to care. I haven't "hurt" that bad in a long time. The counselor's suggestion-- you need a break. I didn't need to go to a counselor to find that out. The tough thing was getting the break. When we got home from the appointment, I told my husband about the meltdown. He was sympathetic, but not very helpful. E had wittnessed the whole thing, yet, she knew I was at the breaking point, and pushed me even further. I decided I was taking two days off no matter what. I chose Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday, today, we had a snowstorm and the kids were home from school. Tomorrow will probably be a 2 hour delay. So much for my break!

I did get a little time off this afternoon. A friend watched the kids so I could work on cleaning the basement. Not my idea of a day off, but productive anyway. I am starting to feel like I can cope a little better now, but I still need an attitude adjustment. Not sure what the next few days hold, but gonna try to recharge myself somewhere in there. There is so much to be done around here, but I have got to get myself back before I lose myself completely. I have been praying for some help. I know I can handle anything the Lord dishes out, but that doesn't mean it will be easy. I do know that the kids don't function very well when I'm out of sorts (duh!) Maybe we can bake cookies tomorrow, since I don't think I will get my day off. Gotta think positive. I've lost sight of the goal, healing for all of my kids. It's coming back slowly. Just got to get a little "me" time, and I know all will be right with the world.