I really thought things were going to take a turn for the better for our family. I'm back in school and loving it. I've learned so much already, and I really hope I can figure out how to get the RAD support desperately needed for this area after I graduate. D, A, and C seem to be doing great. We still have some issues, but it's more due to age and stage rather than disabilities. Then we have B and E. I'd be safer in the Islandic volcano than in my own home. E informed me tonight that she has a mother and I will never be that mother. I'm abusive and I hate her, and the only reason we adopted her is to "show off." There were some other equally "sweet" things that were said, but, gosh, a Mom's gotta keep some of these "treasures" to herself. I recently friended her birth mom on facebook, and a bunch of relatives came out of the woodwork to friend her (E). She is so fragile right now. and M is so mentally unstable, (she listed E as her daughter on fb. She gave birth to 4 other children, but she only listed E.) She's actually the most sane of all of them. I do not want her to forget her past, it is part of who she is. We have an open adoption for a reason, but her extended relatives are not healthy contacts for her right now. She is also telling all of her friends that we abuse all of our children. We know that is not true, but the other 750+ people in this town don't. We have documentation that she makes false accusations, but we shouldn't have to resort to that. So far, DHS has not shown up at our door, so we are hoping to ride this storm out in privacy.
Then we come to little B. She is the cutest, cuddliest girl, but her behaviors make her about as apealing as a dung heap. She is so destructive and defiant. I am so emotionally exhausted trying to parent this child. I have thought about a residential placement for her because her behavior is so disruptive for the rest of the family, especially E. She's only 6. I want to hold her and tell her that we can just "love" all of this away, but we can't. My husband has no clue on how to parent her, and I just a step above him. It's got to stop, but I have no idea how we can make it. Hopefully, we can get her in to the behavioral clinic in Iowa City soon. Otherwise, my only other option is make do and muddle through. I don't like to muddle. I like to soar and make sure that my children can too.
