"Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?"

You know those cheesy, college frat movies where the pledge is being initiated by getting his backside repeatedly hit by one of the upper classmen? They always have to thank the abuser, then ask for more. Of course, I myself would never lower myself to watching such tasteless garbage, but I have heard about it on an occasion or two. Lately, I sure feel like that frat pledge. I get something thrown at me and I say "Thank you" and ask for more. Some of it I bring on myself, but, being a RAD mom, a lot of it just "finds me" and moves in for an extended stay. These past few weeks have brought many "unwelcome guests."

I LOVE the holiday season, starting with Halloween and continuing through New Years. I love to decorate and plan fun activites for this time of year. Unfortunately, other obligations fall upon me at this time of year, too. Most parents consider conferences a minor inconvienience. They want to see how their children are doing, so they take a half hour out of their day to meet with the teachers. I have 4 conferences at 3 different schools with 5 different teachers. It took me 3 hours, not including driving time (one hour) to find out E has not been completing her assignments, and B is having serious self-control issues. D's advisor does not even have him for any classes, and only knows him from her hallway duty. Luckily, I keep in touch with his other teachers at least weekly. I have a party committee to chair, a malfunctioning communication board to get medicaid to pay for, and four assignments to make sure E finishes up. I thought school was for the kids!!

The school nurse called last week saying D was complaining of his head itching. She suggested we treat for lice. Oh, goodie!! I got all of the stuff for his hair, plus a spray for the beds and carpet. Turns out it was not lice. It's bedbugs. My mattress was actually moving when I took the sheets off. I sprayed twice, and now it looks like Gettysburg-- dead, little bodies scattered all over. It takes about 6 weeks to totally get rid of bedbugs. Gee, I had nothing else to do.

B's bio dad was in a serious car accident this past week. I am going on second-hand information, but he apparently broke veterbrae in his neck and back. I do not wish him harm, but I must protect my daughter. She does not ask about him, and has made it very clear that my husband and I are her parents. She is very fragile right now. She has been having behaviors and symptoms that we cannot control. I feel that telling her might be very devestating to her right now, and a visit is completely out of the question. This man gave me an incredible gift, but I must protect that gift, even if it means protecting her from him. This decision is one of the hardest ones I've ever had to make. I just keep praying that God had lead me to the right decision. I also pray that this man will be healed, and that he will see this as a chance to turn his life around.

I have several obligations that I need to complete in the next few weeks. Everyone keeps telling me that my plate is full. My plate is the size of Alaska, and I need sideboards. My four youngest children have a very hard time with the holiday season. They never had much of a Christmas, and the other days were just an excuse to eat a lot and beg for candy. When they came to live with us three years ago, they had never heard "Silent Night," and they had no idea who Baby Jesus was. We have given them traditions, special activities, and decorations galore to share with each other through the years. We have taught then that Jesus is the only gift that matters. We have shared the joy of Christmas Eve Mass, singing every Christmas carol ever written, and read and reread the Nativity in the Gospel of Luke. We spend time with family for Thanksgiving, watch the parades on New Years and Thankgiving and decorate for all of the holidays. They are overwhelmed. They are not comfortable being shown such kindness. We think that they should be thankful to have a family that cares so much, but they have never felt this way, and it is uncomfortable for them. This season, we finally have adopted some parenting techniques that will help us not only survive the holidays, but grow and thrive. Now, all I have to do is learn to say "No!"