On the outside, I'm a second-hand Rose. Almost everything I have has been owned by someone else first. Most of my furniture was given to us (big surprise there!!) My clothes were almost all bought at Goodwill or garage sales. Since I'm a crafter, I love to turn trash into treasures. My three favorite words are Citywide Garage Sales. Okay, city wide is two words, but you get the picture. Even my two cats and my dog were given to me by their previous owners. So, I guess when you look at it, I was destined to adopt. Four of my five kids were somebody else's first.
Some people might turn up their nose at the thought of having everything "used." I prefer to think of it as "double loved." For some things, this won't be their last stop, but I can guarantee one thing, while they are here, they will be loved. I'm not saying my kids are things, and this is most definately their last stop, until we kick them out at age 18, but I am saying that birth or adopted, my kids are loved. I once had a good friend tell me that she didn't believe that if my house was on fire, I would save my adopted kids before my biological son. I was agast!! I told her that after my Christmas decorations (just kidding, Mom!) I would save all of my kids or die trying. I often forget that they are adopted. HONEST!! Those little critters have wiggled themselves into my heart so deep, my life is meaningless without all of them. Like most of the items I have aquired second-hand, my kids have some flaws, stains, rips, tears, and are worn around the edges. Some of these traits are not desirable, but eventually, they will give them the charecter that eventually endures them even more permanently to my heart.
So, as I struggle to get B diagnosed so we can get her the help she needs, morn the fact that D will never talk, cuss under my breath because C and A have destroyed a favorite (most likely second-hand) item, and pull my hair out because E has once again lied about having homework, and failed yet another subject, I take a deep breath and picture them all as the treasures they are and the "diamonds" they have yet to become. Now, to use all of this optimisim on the Hubby!!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I Do Not Fear A Brand New Year
By now, I've made it quite clear that Christmas is my very favorite holiday. Ours was about as close to perfect as you can get. Now, I struggle with the emotions I have regarding the "undecorating" of our humble abode. As I get older, it seems easier to put all of my lovelies away, because I know all I have to do is blink, and it's the holiday season once again.
My second favorite holiday is Easter. I'm sure when the time comes, I'll expound a little more on that.
My third favorite holiday is New Year's. Not because I like to go out and get drunk and raise a little, well, you get the picture. I love New Year's because it is a new start. I actually do quite well with the resolutions I set. With age comes wisdom, so I should be very wise, indeed. I've learned to set priorities first, then come up with sensible resolutions. Most people would look at me and immediately assume losing weight is among my top ten. I wish it was, but I have too many other things that top my list. I do, however, see this as a resolution in the near future. Actually, I haven't written them all down, yet. They're still up in my head, keeping all of the other random, quirky, and interesting thoughts company. So, here's my attempt at setting them free. Of course, they are in no special order. That would take too much energy and might offend the resolutions that are lower on the list. No, a mental evaluation is not on the list either!!
Getting and keeping my house clean- I always use my kids (especially my husband) as an excuse for my house being a mess. No more. I just have to get more creative in getting them to help out. Before every meal, I run dishwater in the sink so everyone can rinse off their dishes and put them in the dishwasher after they eat. It works great. We haven't had any dirty dishes on the cupboard or in the sink since New Year's Eve. Today we cleaned the computer room "relay style." All of the kids lined up outside the door and had to get an item matching the description I gave, ie: bring me something gray, pick up up two socks using your elbows. The room was cleared in less than ten minutes and we had a blast. I plan to clean one room completely then move on to another room while keeping the first room clean. I'm already on room three. I love waking up to a clean kitchen, bathroom and soon to be clean dining room and living room. I've got to get those decorations put away!!
Get a dog- I've always wanted a dog for myself, and I really want the kids to take up the responsibility it takes to have a dog. Cats are so low maintenence. You feed them, clean their litter box, lay still so they can sleep on your head. Let them think they own the house and you're fine. Dogs on the other hand have to be let out, groomed, bathed, walked, played with and house broken. If you leave, they have to have someone take care of them or you take them with you. Up until now, I was not ready for all of that responsibility. I get to pick up my dog tomorrow. He was my niece's, but she can no longer keep him. I'm so excited. He's a chihuahua. A little smaller than I wanted, but past all of that puppy nonsense. He will be mine and only mine until the kids can act respectful around him. That should be around A's 18th birthday.
Improve my blog- I know, it's so great now, what more can I do? I want to learn as much as I can about posting pictures and rearranging the pages. I want to include some of the kids' crafts and family pictures. I also want to show tutorials for some of my crafts, include some videos and links, and hopefully, get more followers.
Eat healthier- My husband got two new cookbooks for Christmas. He's been doing a great job of finding great tasting recipes. Now he needs to find great tasting recipes that are healthy. I want to eat healthy three times a week, and eat like we usually do the rest of the week, for now. I don't want to shock anyone!! I'll also make subtle changes in the things we eat, ie: substitute light dressings, use wheat flour and pasta, mix ground turkey with ground beef or pork. In time, I plan to cut out mac and cheese forever!! The kids, of course, think we need it twice a day. My husband is dangerously overweight, and I pray these changes will help him get some of the weight off without too much rebellion.
Cut out caffiene and aspartame- I used to be a Coke Zero addict. I decided to cut out the caffiene, but drinking straight water didn't work. I needed a little flavor. So, after a month of just water and milk, I started drinking Dr. Pepper. All caffine and sugar. When I could not longer fit into a size 16 pants, I decided I needed to do something. I'm not ready to diet, but I can cut out caffiene and aspartame. I found a flavored water that uses splenda. I love it. No caffiene or aspartame in over a week. The headaches are getting better, too.
Get a diagnosis and figure out how to parent B- her behavior is kicking my butt lately. She is so destructive, defiant, and deliberate, triple D threat. I think we know what is going on, Asperger's Syndrome, RAD, and ADHD, but I have no idea how to parent her. Interupting her thought pattern seems to be the best answer, but it doesn't work all the time and it's hard to stop all of her obsessive behavior when there are four other kids in the house, all with varying disabilities of their own. We'll get it, we just have to put it as priority one!
Take care of me so I can take care of thee- I'm worn out! I'm old, fat, and tired. I have forgotten the first rule of parenting a "RAD"ish, take care of yourself. I want to read more, craft more, finish writing my book, play with my dog and cats, go for walks and bike rides with and without the kids, use the hottub more, set up a quiet zone in my bedroom, and blog atleast once a week.
Be a better parent- just a continuation from last year. As my kids grow in healing and confidence, my parenting gets better. Actually, I think as I become a better parent, my kids can heal and grow more easily. Unfortunately, the day to day grind takes over, and I don't spend as much time with the kids as I would like to. When my goal for a clean house is realized, I will be able to spend more time with the kids. BUT, my kids should not have to wait. I want to spend an hour each day doing only kid centered activites. I know this does not sound like much, but in our chaotic household, it's gonna be a challenge. Some ideas I have are, crafting, reading together, dance parties, American Idol auditions (we've done this in the past, and it is a blast!!,) campfires, camping out in the playhouse, picnics, slumber parties, and much more. I also want the kids to invite more friends over. It's not conducive to the healing process right now, but in the near future, I want our house to be the neighborhood hang-out.
Date my Husband- this is going to be the hardest. It's hard to find a babysitter for five kids. We were told by a RAD expert that the divorce rate for parents of kids with RAD is 92%. Some days, that seems low!! I know a lot of RAD parents who are still together, but they really have to work at it. I'm ready to put in the work and time. I just have to be creative. I know my husband is ALL for that.
Do RAK's- I have been on the receving end of several Random Acts of Kindness. I have been able to do a few of them, but not as much as I would like. Being on the giving end is a lot more fun. To start with, I want to do one RAK a month, a low and achievable number that can increase with time. There are so many people who deserve a lift, I want to be one of the people who is responsible for giving it to them.
I'm sure there are more ideas running around in my brain, but for now, this is a pretty good start. I am loving 2011 so far, and I plan to do everything in my power to make it the best year yet. Peace, health, and blessings to all of us in this wonderful year.
My second favorite holiday is Easter. I'm sure when the time comes, I'll expound a little more on that.
My third favorite holiday is New Year's. Not because I like to go out and get drunk and raise a little, well, you get the picture. I love New Year's because it is a new start. I actually do quite well with the resolutions I set. With age comes wisdom, so I should be very wise, indeed. I've learned to set priorities first, then come up with sensible resolutions. Most people would look at me and immediately assume losing weight is among my top ten. I wish it was, but I have too many other things that top my list. I do, however, see this as a resolution in the near future. Actually, I haven't written them all down, yet. They're still up in my head, keeping all of the other random, quirky, and interesting thoughts company. So, here's my attempt at setting them free. Of course, they are in no special order. That would take too much energy and might offend the resolutions that are lower on the list. No, a mental evaluation is not on the list either!!
Getting and keeping my house clean- I always use my kids (especially my husband) as an excuse for my house being a mess. No more. I just have to get more creative in getting them to help out. Before every meal, I run dishwater in the sink so everyone can rinse off their dishes and put them in the dishwasher after they eat. It works great. We haven't had any dirty dishes on the cupboard or in the sink since New Year's Eve. Today we cleaned the computer room "relay style." All of the kids lined up outside the door and had to get an item matching the description I gave, ie: bring me something gray, pick up up two socks using your elbows. The room was cleared in less than ten minutes and we had a blast. I plan to clean one room completely then move on to another room while keeping the first room clean. I'm already on room three. I love waking up to a clean kitchen, bathroom and soon to be clean dining room and living room. I've got to get those decorations put away!!
Get a dog- I've always wanted a dog for myself, and I really want the kids to take up the responsibility it takes to have a dog. Cats are so low maintenence. You feed them, clean their litter box, lay still so they can sleep on your head. Let them think they own the house and you're fine. Dogs on the other hand have to be let out, groomed, bathed, walked, played with and house broken. If you leave, they have to have someone take care of them or you take them with you. Up until now, I was not ready for all of that responsibility. I get to pick up my dog tomorrow. He was my niece's, but she can no longer keep him. I'm so excited. He's a chihuahua. A little smaller than I wanted, but past all of that puppy nonsense. He will be mine and only mine until the kids can act respectful around him. That should be around A's 18th birthday.
Improve my blog- I know, it's so great now, what more can I do? I want to learn as much as I can about posting pictures and rearranging the pages. I want to include some of the kids' crafts and family pictures. I also want to show tutorials for some of my crafts, include some videos and links, and hopefully, get more followers.
Eat healthier- My husband got two new cookbooks for Christmas. He's been doing a great job of finding great tasting recipes. Now he needs to find great tasting recipes that are healthy. I want to eat healthy three times a week, and eat like we usually do the rest of the week, for now. I don't want to shock anyone!! I'll also make subtle changes in the things we eat, ie: substitute light dressings, use wheat flour and pasta, mix ground turkey with ground beef or pork. In time, I plan to cut out mac and cheese forever!! The kids, of course, think we need it twice a day. My husband is dangerously overweight, and I pray these changes will help him get some of the weight off without too much rebellion.
Cut out caffiene and aspartame- I used to be a Coke Zero addict. I decided to cut out the caffiene, but drinking straight water didn't work. I needed a little flavor. So, after a month of just water and milk, I started drinking Dr. Pepper. All caffine and sugar. When I could not longer fit into a size 16 pants, I decided I needed to do something. I'm not ready to diet, but I can cut out caffiene and aspartame. I found a flavored water that uses splenda. I love it. No caffiene or aspartame in over a week. The headaches are getting better, too.
Get a diagnosis and figure out how to parent B- her behavior is kicking my butt lately. She is so destructive, defiant, and deliberate, triple D threat. I think we know what is going on, Asperger's Syndrome, RAD, and ADHD, but I have no idea how to parent her. Interupting her thought pattern seems to be the best answer, but it doesn't work all the time and it's hard to stop all of her obsessive behavior when there are four other kids in the house, all with varying disabilities of their own. We'll get it, we just have to put it as priority one!
Take care of me so I can take care of thee- I'm worn out! I'm old, fat, and tired. I have forgotten the first rule of parenting a "RAD"ish, take care of yourself. I want to read more, craft more, finish writing my book, play with my dog and cats, go for walks and bike rides with and without the kids, use the hottub more, set up a quiet zone in my bedroom, and blog atleast once a week.
Be a better parent- just a continuation from last year. As my kids grow in healing and confidence, my parenting gets better. Actually, I think as I become a better parent, my kids can heal and grow more easily. Unfortunately, the day to day grind takes over, and I don't spend as much time with the kids as I would like to. When my goal for a clean house is realized, I will be able to spend more time with the kids. BUT, my kids should not have to wait. I want to spend an hour each day doing only kid centered activites. I know this does not sound like much, but in our chaotic household, it's gonna be a challenge. Some ideas I have are, crafting, reading together, dance parties, American Idol auditions (we've done this in the past, and it is a blast!!,) campfires, camping out in the playhouse, picnics, slumber parties, and much more. I also want the kids to invite more friends over. It's not conducive to the healing process right now, but in the near future, I want our house to be the neighborhood hang-out.
Date my Husband- this is going to be the hardest. It's hard to find a babysitter for five kids. We were told by a RAD expert that the divorce rate for parents of kids with RAD is 92%. Some days, that seems low!! I know a lot of RAD parents who are still together, but they really have to work at it. I'm ready to put in the work and time. I just have to be creative. I know my husband is ALL for that.
Do RAK's- I have been on the receving end of several Random Acts of Kindness. I have been able to do a few of them, but not as much as I would like. Being on the giving end is a lot more fun. To start with, I want to do one RAK a month, a low and achievable number that can increase with time. There are so many people who deserve a lift, I want to be one of the people who is responsible for giving it to them.
I'm sure there are more ideas running around in my brain, but for now, this is a pretty good start. I am loving 2011 so far, and I plan to do everything in my power to make it the best year yet. Peace, health, and blessings to all of us in this wonderful year.
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