At my family reunion last summer, I was loading up the car to leave early because two of my five children were throwing up. My mom looked at me and said, "Well you chose this." I looked at her with tears in my eyes and said, "No, it chose me." My mom was not being callous or unfeeling. I had always dreamed of a big family, jut not all at once.
Four of my five children are adopted, a sibling group we had fostered and eventually adopted. Two of the kids had been placed with us, and two more were placed in a sparate foster home. My husband and I were very adament that families should be kept together as much as possible, so we fought to get them all placed with us. We were told that they would eventually go home, the goal in EVERY foster situation. so we figured we could atleast keep them together until that happened. It never happened. May 19th, 2009, we adopted three girls and a boy, ages 9, 4, 3, and 2. Now, keep in mind that I was 46 at the time. Yes-- I am nuts!! Our biological son was 11, and has cerebral palsy. No, I do not have a job outside the home.
We have been having unbelievable problems with our girls, the two oldest in particular. Lying, stealing, not doing homework, hoarding food, spitting, picking scabs until they bleed and picking some more, destruction of toys and books, deliberate defiance, disrespect, tantrums lasting for hours with no reprive, lying, bossiness, control issues, manipulation, and did I mention LYING? These kids do not have a conscience. Our bio son is respectful, trustworthy, loving, considerate, and responsible, dispite his disabilities. We were at a total loss. They had it so good with us compared to their birth mom. Why couldn't they see how lucky they were?
Finally, a friend suggested I look up RAD. All three of my girls have it to different degrees. We didn't need to "lable" them. We just wanted to know how to parent them. There wasn't a lot out there. Our daughter's counselor was even at a loss. I knew of another friend whose son was diagnosed with RAD, so I called her. Jackpot!! She had a program from Nancy Thomas entitled, "When Love is not Enough." It spoke to my heart, It was practical, creative, humor-filled, and christian based. Not all of it is appropriate for my kids. She had fostered the severely affected children, many who have killed. My kids are not even close to that, thank God for huge favors!!We have been using the program for over a month and have seen a huge improvement.
My goal for this blog is to document our journey of healing our family, share first-hand experience of living with RAD, and have a lot of fun along the way. I will include updates on our progress (and setbacks,) craft ideas (a huge part of the healing process,) witticisms from living in a family of seven, survival hints, and R, R, and R for a RAD Mom, 'cuz mom's gotta be rested, relaxed and revived. Since I have adult ADD, I find it easier if I set a schedule to go by. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will write about our progress as a RAD family. Tuesday will be crafts, Thursday will be survival hints, Saturday is RR&R, and Sunday is recipes and witticisms. I won't blog everyday, but when I do sit down to write, I'll know what to talk about.
I had originally named this "Ramblings of a RAD mom," but I think "Running with Scissors" is more appropriate. Not sure where we're going, but it's gonna be a heck of a ride!!
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