Since I got our bedroom all cleaned up nice and pretty, I have been having trouble with the kids coming in early and waking me up. Last Saturday, I was fed up, so I decided to give a poptart to all of the kids who didn't wake me up that morning. Only E got one. The rest of the crew was not happy about this. The next morning, everyone stayed in bed, so they all got poptarts.
NOTE TO SELF: Never feed the kids poptarts and take all five of them to church by yourself!!
One night at supper, we were discussing daily chores. We started goofing and said they could clean the toilet with E's toothbrush. We kept joking and figured it was forgotten. After the kids finished clearing the table, C ran into the bathroom and came out with a toothbrush. "Mom, is this E's toothbrush?"
NOTE TO SELF: Do not joke about cleaning anything with a toothbrush. You never know when it will be your own!!
One day, we were doing sumersaults in the living room, and one of the kids tried to get a little fancy and try a backbend. They couldn't get the hang of it, so I decided to show them how.
NOTE TO SELF: You are 47 years old. Paying for gymnastic lessons is cheaper than a chiropractor.
About a month ago, my van was broken into right in our driveway. My stereo and cell phone were stolen and several things were vandalized. We called the police, but in this small town, they didn't have anyone on duty, and would send someone by later int the evening. My husband had gone upstairs to tuck in the kids and was wearing his typical bedtime attire, tee shirt and underwear. Of course, the cop showed up and all of my husband's sweats were downstairs in his dresser. Sooo, he grabbed a pair of my pj pants, the pink fuzzy ones with Tinkerbelle on them, and came downstairs. We all laughed about it, and E asked what we were laughing about the next morning. I told her about the pants, and apparently, the other kids were listening (of course they were, I wasn't talking to them. If I had been talking to them, they wouldn't have heard me!!!) Later in the week, I was telling someone about our van getting broken into, and A pipes up, "Yeah. My daddy wears mommy's pink pants when the cops come over."
NOTE TO SELF: Put a pair of sweats upstairs for husband. Hide Tinkerbelle pants.
I've been making my bed ever since I got my room cleaned up. The kids keep commenting on how good it looks. Three days ago, I went to put A down for her nap, and noticed her bed was made. Then I looked around, and all three girls had made their bed. When I went in to put C to bed, the beds in the boys' room were made, also. All of the beds have been made every day since.
NOTE TO SELF: Your kids watch what you do. Surprises can sure be nice!!
NOTE TO SELF: Your kids are pretty darn terrific!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
List of Symptoms
Guess it's about time I listed the symptoms of RAD so you can identify more with what we are dealing with. Often times, when I discribe some of the behaviors we are dealing with, people reply, "Well, that's every child." It isn't if you put all of the behaviors together and identify the severity. I will list the symptons, along with the letter of my children and the severity of the symptom on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being most severe.
Unable to give and receive love- D: 0, E: 7, B: 6, C: 0, A: 4
Oppositional, argumentative, defiant- D: 5, E: 9, B: 6, C: 6, A: 6
Emotionally phony, hollow, or empty- D: 0, E: 8, B: 6, C: 0, A: 1
Manupulative or controlling- D: 1, E: Can I go higher than a 10?, B: 7, C: 4, A: 5
Has frequent or intense angry outbursts- D: 5, E: 8, B: 9, C: 5, A: 6
Is an angry child inside- for the most part, all 0
Unable to cry about something sad- D: 0, E: 10, B: 8, C: 1, A: 3
Avoids or resists physical touch- D: 0, E: at first 10, now 5, B: 4, C: 1, A: 1
Cannot be trusted- D: 1, E: 9, B: 10, C: 7, A: 9
Has little or no conscience- D: 1, E: 9, B: 9, C: 7, A: 10
Is superficially engaging and charming- D: 0, E: 10, B: 8, C: 3, A: 7
Lack of eye contact on parental terms- D: 0, E: 7 getting better, was a 10+, B: 8, C-0, A: 7
Indiscriminately affectionate on parents' terms- D:5, E: 7, B: 10, C: 3, A: 9
Not affectionate on parents' terms- D: 0, E: 8, B: 3, C:1, A: 3
Destructive to self, others and property- D: 0, E: 0, B:9, C: 7, A: 7
More disobedient to Mom than Dad- D: 0, E: 4, B: 2, C: 2, A: 6
Cruel to animals- all 0 except B: 5 very controlling
Steals- D: 0, E: 9, B: 3, C: 7, A: 7
Lies about the obvious- D: 1, E: 7 mostly when caught doing something, B: 9. C: 6, A: 7
Is impulsive- D:1, E: 8, B: 100, C: 2, A: 5
Is hyperactive- D:0, E:4, B:100000, C: 4, A:5
Lacks cause and effect thinking- D:2, E: 7 was a 10, B: 8, C: 8, A: 9
Gorges or hordes food- D:0, E: 8, B: 8, C: 4, A: 4, A, B, C, and E used to be at a 10
Has poor peer relationships- D:2, E:9, B: 7, C: 3, A: 5
Preoccupation with fire, blood and violence- all 0
Persistent nonsense questions or incessant chatter- D: non-verbal, E: 9, B: 10, C: 9, A, 7
Inappropriately demanding and clingy- D: 3, E: 7 has gotten much better, B: 8, C: 7, A: 6
Sexual acting out- D-1 (pre-puberty), E: 4, B: 8, C: 4, A: 4
Bossy with Peers- D:0, E: 10, B: 10, C: 7, A: 10
If you're keeping track, D, our biological son has a total of 28, most of them due to his cerebral palsy and inability to communicate. E, our oldest daughter and the child who was with M the longest, has a total of 193. B, our middle daughter, has a total of 197. C, our youngest son, has a total of 108. A, our youngest daughter, has a total of 156. WOW!!! That's an eye-opener! No wonder I feel like I'm going insane!! Not sure if C's high score is from RAD or his age. He never had his "terrible 2's" so I figure he's making up for it at 4. My score would be 22. With a total of 290, B, A, and E fall into the "moderate" stage, and C falls into the "mild" range. This makes me tired just looking at it. Guess I should just finish my ice cream and get a good night's sleep.
Unable to give and receive love- D: 0, E: 7, B: 6, C: 0, A: 4
Oppositional, argumentative, defiant- D: 5, E: 9, B: 6, C: 6, A: 6
Emotionally phony, hollow, or empty- D: 0, E: 8, B: 6, C: 0, A: 1
Manupulative or controlling- D: 1, E: Can I go higher than a 10?, B: 7, C: 4, A: 5
Has frequent or intense angry outbursts- D: 5, E: 8, B: 9, C: 5, A: 6
Is an angry child inside- for the most part, all 0
Unable to cry about something sad- D: 0, E: 10, B: 8, C: 1, A: 3
Avoids or resists physical touch- D: 0, E: at first 10, now 5, B: 4, C: 1, A: 1
Cannot be trusted- D: 1, E: 9, B: 10, C: 7, A: 9
Has little or no conscience- D: 1, E: 9, B: 9, C: 7, A: 10
Is superficially engaging and charming- D: 0, E: 10, B: 8, C: 3, A: 7
Lack of eye contact on parental terms- D: 0, E: 7 getting better, was a 10+, B: 8, C-0, A: 7
Indiscriminately affectionate on parents' terms- D:5, E: 7, B: 10, C: 3, A: 9
Not affectionate on parents' terms- D: 0, E: 8, B: 3, C:1, A: 3
Destructive to self, others and property- D: 0, E: 0, B:9, C: 7, A: 7
More disobedient to Mom than Dad- D: 0, E: 4, B: 2, C: 2, A: 6
Cruel to animals- all 0 except B: 5 very controlling
Steals- D: 0, E: 9, B: 3, C: 7, A: 7
Lies about the obvious- D: 1, E: 7 mostly when caught doing something, B: 9. C: 6, A: 7
Is impulsive- D:1, E: 8, B: 100, C: 2, A: 5
Is hyperactive- D:0, E:4, B:100000, C: 4, A:5
Lacks cause and effect thinking- D:2, E: 7 was a 10, B: 8, C: 8, A: 9
Gorges or hordes food- D:0, E: 8, B: 8, C: 4, A: 4, A, B, C, and E used to be at a 10
Has poor peer relationships- D:2, E:9, B: 7, C: 3, A: 5
Preoccupation with fire, blood and violence- all 0
Persistent nonsense questions or incessant chatter- D: non-verbal, E: 9, B: 10, C: 9, A, 7
Inappropriately demanding and clingy- D: 3, E: 7 has gotten much better, B: 8, C: 7, A: 6
Sexual acting out- D-1 (pre-puberty), E: 4, B: 8, C: 4, A: 4
Bossy with Peers- D:0, E: 10, B: 10, C: 7, A: 10
If you're keeping track, D, our biological son has a total of 28, most of them due to his cerebral palsy and inability to communicate. E, our oldest daughter and the child who was with M the longest, has a total of 193. B, our middle daughter, has a total of 197. C, our youngest son, has a total of 108. A, our youngest daughter, has a total of 156. WOW!!! That's an eye-opener! No wonder I feel like I'm going insane!! Not sure if C's high score is from RAD or his age. He never had his "terrible 2's" so I figure he's making up for it at 4. My score would be 22. With a total of 290, B, A, and E fall into the "moderate" stage, and C falls into the "mild" range. This makes me tired just looking at it. Guess I should just finish my ice cream and get a good night's sleep.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Something that Worked!!
When I was playing with the kids after breakfast, I was goofing around and gave them all different names. I was Charlie and the kids were, in order by age, Verne, Barney, Alfred, Harry, and Myrtle. Alfred has been having a hard time lately. I put her on my lap and interviewed her as "Charlie." She really opened up. She wasn't speaking to Mommy, she was speaking to Charlie, and she had a great time with this. I also learned that Mommy is a good cook, even if she burns supper to the bottom of the pan. Dad is grumpy, but she loves him a lot. M is her old mother, but she likes it here better. Everything is okay. It was very eye-opening. She still cannot maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds, but she spoke from the heart when she answered Charlie's questions.
Harry also liked Charlie's questions. He never breaks eye-contact, and apparently has no personal space boundaries. Mom sets off the smoke alarm when she cooks. Dad is fun, but tickles too much. This is the best place to live. I believe Charilie will make more appearences in the future.
Better Day today. E has not earned any points for 3 days. She actually got 2 points taken away for being mouthy. She talked to M on the phone today, and so far, has not had any issues. This is a first!! Working on projects for the fair. Out for supper tonight. All in all, a good day. Time to go to bed and rest up for tomorrow. Hopefully, sweet dreams all the way around. :)
Harry also liked Charlie's questions. He never breaks eye-contact, and apparently has no personal space boundaries. Mom sets off the smoke alarm when she cooks. Dad is fun, but tickles too much. This is the best place to live. I believe Charilie will make more appearences in the future.
Better Day today. E has not earned any points for 3 days. She actually got 2 points taken away for being mouthy. She talked to M on the phone today, and so far, has not had any issues. This is a first!! Working on projects for the fair. Out for supper tonight. All in all, a good day. Time to go to bed and rest up for tomorrow. Hopefully, sweet dreams all the way around. :)
Friday, July 9, 2010
RAD Sucks
I usually try to think of a cute or creative title for my blog entries, but after today, the only one I can come up with is "RAD Sucks." I have the 5 most beautiful, creative, and brilliant children ever born, but apparently my 3 girls have spent too much time around Darth Vader because they choose to use this talent for the "dark side." I'm old, I'm tired, and as priviously stated in another entry, I do not know how to take care of myself. These girls have been kicking my butt the last two weeks. E stole a cell phone back in May and is still doing jobs to pay restitution for that. She has had to earn back all of her privledges, including the 4th of July and her grandparent's visit next week. Ever since she learned that her grandparents are coming, the birdy has hit the fan and we have "shredded tweet." I usually do not tell her when things are going to happen until we on in the car on the way there. She will drive us crazy with questions, reminders, bizare behavior, and "hovering." We have nicknamed her Huey, because she resembles a helicopter the way she hovers over everyone. She follows my husband and me so close that if we stop walking or turn around, she will run into us. Because she had not earned enough points for her grandparents' visit, I felt I needed to tell her so she had something to work towards. FAIL!! She completely fell apart. Every behavior trippled in severity, and some old ones that we hadn't seen in a while, came back with a vengence. Over a month ago, we had been having serious problems with temper tantrums. One morning, out of the blue, I said to her, "Would you please have a tantrum, because I have the best consequence, and I really want to use it." She looked at me like my head was on upsidedown, and said, "As long as I live here, I will never throw a tantrum again." Everytime she started to get a little agitated, I'd say, "Cool! I might get to use my consequence." and she'd settle right down. Until today. Today, I got to use my consequence-- Twice!! I looked up the two natural disasters that her tantrums most resembled, and she had to do a two-page report on each of them with a paragraph at the end telling how her tantrums resembled them. I chose volcanoes and thunderstorms. She had to use correct spelling, punctuation, and cursive writing. I was VERY picky. It took her 3 hours to come up with 2 pages. That's okay. She just has less time to earn the points needed to see her grandparents. I have arranged respite for her, just incase. I should explain that it is her bio father's mother and her husband who are coming. They are not grandparents to any of the other children, but they have adopted the other 4 anyway. They are incredible people, and I can't wait to see them again. Getting the necessary points is not unattainable, but she will have to work very hard to get them. Unfortunately, her biggest downfall is her mouth. She is so disrespectful when she is mad, and she loses points for each offense.
B has other issues. The mosquitos are horrible this summer, and she is covered with bites. She has scratched everyone of them open to the point of infection. We have tried SkeeterStik, bandaids, socks over her hands, clipping her nails almost to bleeding, and time-out for each time we see an open wound. Nothing works. The program we are using suggests putting her in the bathroom each time we see her digging, and giving her 10 minutes to finish her "hobby." She LOVES this. She digs for 10 minutes straight. My bathroom looked like a murder scene. She wouldn't stop when the time was up, so I left her in there for another 10 minutes. When the scabs were all picked, she made sores where there weren't any. God help me, I do not know what to do with her. I wouldn't worry so much, but she is getting infection in all of the sores. The doctor is no help. He said the socks are abusive and that if I can't find a way to keep the medicine on the sore, I am an unfit mother. I told him to do a little research on RAD. Yes, I will be taking my kids back to him. He's a wonderful doctor, unfortunately like the rest of the medical profession, knows nothing about RAD. B also has no self control. She will repeat something constantly until you stop her. I timed her once. She repeated the same line from a song over and over for three minutes and four seconds until I could not stand it anymore. Today is the first time I have had enough self restraint to let her go until she stopped herself. She spun in a circle for over five minutes until she stopped to throw up. I handed her a paper towel and walked away. She cleaned up the mess and started spinning again. She also throws tantrums, has a smart mouth, and throws things. Oh yeah. I almost forgot. During her tantrum, E threw a lot of the things we had given her into the hallway. I boxed them up and gave them to Goodwill. This is not the first time she has done this, but it is the first time that I didn't give her back her things. Since her boombox and cds went in the box this time, I would hope she thinks long and hard before she does this again.
Now for A. She has torn a whole pannel of wallpaper off the wall in the girls' room. Everytime she gets mad, she wets her pants. When she gets in the pool, she poops in her suit. If she gets a hold of anything that writes, she scribbles on anything she knows is important to us. She used a permanant red marker on the side of my grandmother's piano that my husband made into a curio cabinet. Short of sanding it down and refinishing it, it can't be cleaned. All of these behaviors have happend in less than two weeks. Put all of this with the typical behavior that a four-year-old boy displays, and the a-typical behavior that a prepubesent boy with Cerebral Palsy exhibits, and I am ready for a room with padded walls. Unfortunately, my husband has not been able to help much (through no fault of his own) and my gal that usually helps with the kids has been helping her mother who recently had surgery. Luckily, I do have this blog, and I can escape to my nice, clean room and read after the kids go to bed. But then, I'd probably read a scary Mary Higgins Clark book and have to sleep with the light on again. Calgon can't take me away. There's not enough chocolate in the world to take care of this one. My mommy lives in Texas and is gone for the weekend. Guess I should just snuggle under the covers with my one eyed, noseless teddy bear, say my prayers, and hope for a better day tomorrow. I love my children, I love my children, I love my children. Where's the Tylenol P.M.?
B has other issues. The mosquitos are horrible this summer, and she is covered with bites. She has scratched everyone of them open to the point of infection. We have tried SkeeterStik, bandaids, socks over her hands, clipping her nails almost to bleeding, and time-out for each time we see an open wound. Nothing works. The program we are using suggests putting her in the bathroom each time we see her digging, and giving her 10 minutes to finish her "hobby." She LOVES this. She digs for 10 minutes straight. My bathroom looked like a murder scene. She wouldn't stop when the time was up, so I left her in there for another 10 minutes. When the scabs were all picked, she made sores where there weren't any. God help me, I do not know what to do with her. I wouldn't worry so much, but she is getting infection in all of the sores. The doctor is no help. He said the socks are abusive and that if I can't find a way to keep the medicine on the sore, I am an unfit mother. I told him to do a little research on RAD. Yes, I will be taking my kids back to him. He's a wonderful doctor, unfortunately like the rest of the medical profession, knows nothing about RAD. B also has no self control. She will repeat something constantly until you stop her. I timed her once. She repeated the same line from a song over and over for three minutes and four seconds until I could not stand it anymore. Today is the first time I have had enough self restraint to let her go until she stopped herself. She spun in a circle for over five minutes until she stopped to throw up. I handed her a paper towel and walked away. She cleaned up the mess and started spinning again. She also throws tantrums, has a smart mouth, and throws things. Oh yeah. I almost forgot. During her tantrum, E threw a lot of the things we had given her into the hallway. I boxed them up and gave them to Goodwill. This is not the first time she has done this, but it is the first time that I didn't give her back her things. Since her boombox and cds went in the box this time, I would hope she thinks long and hard before she does this again.
Now for A. She has torn a whole pannel of wallpaper off the wall in the girls' room. Everytime she gets mad, she wets her pants. When she gets in the pool, she poops in her suit. If she gets a hold of anything that writes, she scribbles on anything she knows is important to us. She used a permanant red marker on the side of my grandmother's piano that my husband made into a curio cabinet. Short of sanding it down and refinishing it, it can't be cleaned. All of these behaviors have happend in less than two weeks. Put all of this with the typical behavior that a four-year-old boy displays, and the a-typical behavior that a prepubesent boy with Cerebral Palsy exhibits, and I am ready for a room with padded walls. Unfortunately, my husband has not been able to help much (through no fault of his own) and my gal that usually helps with the kids has been helping her mother who recently had surgery. Luckily, I do have this blog, and I can escape to my nice, clean room and read after the kids go to bed. But then, I'd probably read a scary Mary Higgins Clark book and have to sleep with the light on again. Calgon can't take me away. There's not enough chocolate in the world to take care of this one. My mommy lives in Texas and is gone for the weekend. Guess I should just snuggle under the covers with my one eyed, noseless teddy bear, say my prayers, and hope for a better day tomorrow. I love my children, I love my children, I love my children. Where's the Tylenol P.M.?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
My Pretzel Personality
Ask pretty much anyone to name something that is twisted, and they will say a pretzel. Unless they know me. Then they will say it is my personality. I'm okay with that. I have long accepted that I am strange. Most people have trouble thinking outside the box. I was never given a box, or if I was, I probably packed any of my "normal" personality traits in it and mailed it years ago.
I used to drive my husband crazy with my "creative thinking." Now, he just rolls his eyes and walks away. I have never been able to take the eggs out of the carton from one side to the other. I told my husband it keeps the eggs guessing who's next, but it actually distributes the weight in the carton so one end is not heavier than the other. That, and it's fun to watch someone else open a carton I have already gotten to, and compulsively have to put the eggs back in order. My daughter is embarrased by me because I read magazines back to front. One of my favorite pasttimes is to sing heavy metal songs in my best operatic voice. The bonus to this is that it embarrasses the heck out of my kids, especially if I do it in Walmart. I talk to my fish, pick things up off the floor with my toes, call my cats dogs, eat the ridges off a peanut butter cup, then suck the peanut butter out, sleep with a teddy bear that has one eye and no nose, and I won't kill bugs (with the exception of mosquitos) for fear that I might cause them pain before they die. I love to watch shows about horrific murders (I've seen Hollywood's Most Shocking Murders three times,) but then my strange little mind starts to run away with me, so I end up locking all of the doors and sleeping with a light on. Now, I know all of this just sounds like I'm bragging (LOL) but I do have a point to all of this. In order to properly parent any child, much less three children with RAD, a parent needs to be well rested and emotionally energized. They need to take care of themselves before they can take care of their kids. I've forgotten how to do this. I'm so used to taking care of others, that I have forgotten how to take care of myself. When asked recently if I could go out with my husband and not talk about the kids, what needs to be done around the house, or my husband's job, I answered, "Sure. We just won't talk." One of the last times we went out, we talked about jobs needing to be done around home and went to the movies. We saw a kid's movie. The story of my life!!!
I'm supposed to make a list of some hobbies or activities that relax and recharge me. My list looked something like this:
1. Eat all the middles out of the Oreos and put the cookies back in the package.
2. See how many mini marshmallows I can put in my mouth and still sing the Star Spangled Banner.
3. Decorate the house for Halloween in July.
4. Wear swim fins and a snorkle in the bath tub.
5. Make racecar noises when driving the kids to school.
6. Pretend to talk back to my Rice Krispies-- Wait, who's pretending?!
I must admit, some of the things I think about even scare me. On the outside, I appear to be somewhat normal, something my children are very thankful for. I can play by the rules, be a team player, and stay "inside the box" when I have to. But tell me the sky's the limit, and I will paint it purple and fly with the raccoons. Not even sure what that means, but it sure will be fun to find out. I wonder if I have enough glitter to recreate the solar system on the side of my van, Hmmm?
I used to drive my husband crazy with my "creative thinking." Now, he just rolls his eyes and walks away. I have never been able to take the eggs out of the carton from one side to the other. I told my husband it keeps the eggs guessing who's next, but it actually distributes the weight in the carton so one end is not heavier than the other. That, and it's fun to watch someone else open a carton I have already gotten to, and compulsively have to put the eggs back in order. My daughter is embarrased by me because I read magazines back to front. One of my favorite pasttimes is to sing heavy metal songs in my best operatic voice. The bonus to this is that it embarrasses the heck out of my kids, especially if I do it in Walmart. I talk to my fish, pick things up off the floor with my toes, call my cats dogs, eat the ridges off a peanut butter cup, then suck the peanut butter out, sleep with a teddy bear that has one eye and no nose, and I won't kill bugs (with the exception of mosquitos) for fear that I might cause them pain before they die. I love to watch shows about horrific murders (I've seen Hollywood's Most Shocking Murders three times,) but then my strange little mind starts to run away with me, so I end up locking all of the doors and sleeping with a light on. Now, I know all of this just sounds like I'm bragging (LOL) but I do have a point to all of this. In order to properly parent any child, much less three children with RAD, a parent needs to be well rested and emotionally energized. They need to take care of themselves before they can take care of their kids. I've forgotten how to do this. I'm so used to taking care of others, that I have forgotten how to take care of myself. When asked recently if I could go out with my husband and not talk about the kids, what needs to be done around the house, or my husband's job, I answered, "Sure. We just won't talk." One of the last times we went out, we talked about jobs needing to be done around home and went to the movies. We saw a kid's movie. The story of my life!!!
I'm supposed to make a list of some hobbies or activities that relax and recharge me. My list looked something like this:
1. Eat all the middles out of the Oreos and put the cookies back in the package.
2. See how many mini marshmallows I can put in my mouth and still sing the Star Spangled Banner.
3. Decorate the house for Halloween in July.
4. Wear swim fins and a snorkle in the bath tub.
5. Make racecar noises when driving the kids to school.
6. Pretend to talk back to my Rice Krispies-- Wait, who's pretending?!
I must admit, some of the things I think about even scare me. On the outside, I appear to be somewhat normal, something my children are very thankful for. I can play by the rules, be a team player, and stay "inside the box" when I have to. But tell me the sky's the limit, and I will paint it purple and fly with the raccoons. Not even sure what that means, but it sure will be fun to find out. I wonder if I have enough glitter to recreate the solar system on the side of my van, Hmmm?
Monday, July 5, 2010
Living With Scorpions
Yesterday in church, our priest started his sermon with a story about an old man and a scorpion. The old man was sitting on the beach watching a scorpion entangled in the roots of a tree. As he watched, the tide started getting closer and closer. The man decided to help the poor creature, but as he tried to free it, the scorpion continually stung him. After he finally freed the scorpion, the man sat down under a shade tree to rest his swollen hand. A young man who had been watching the events unfold, began to laugh at the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Young man, I cannot balame the scorpion for stinging me, for it is in his nature. Likewise, you cannot balame me for caring about and rescuing this creature, for THAT is in my nature." Then it dawned on me, I've been living with scorpions and I am the old man.
Children with RAD have had to protect themselves from being hurt for so long that they often times hurt another person before they can be hurt. They single out the one person who can rescue them and then they hurt them, usually with words or behavior. As the "old man" trying to rescue them, I have been stung so much that my whole body is swollen (I'm not fat, it's scorpion stings!!) Our biological son does not speak, so I had never heard a child tell me they loved me. I had also never heard a child say they hated me. Ouch! Talk about a sting. My oldest daughter steals from us. Ouch! One child deliberately damages the things that mean the most to me. Ouch! They don't listen. Ouch! They hit each other. Ouch! They lie. Ouch! They argue. Ouch! They throw things. Ouch! I can feel my body swelling as I type. I cannot stop loving these children, and they cannot stop stinging me. My love for them can only get stronger, but as I keep loving them, and guiding them, and giving them boundaries, their stinging will lessen, and then, they will posess within themselves the ointment to soothe my scorpion stings, as well as some of their own stings. I just pray I never become immune to their stings, for that will be the time I lose what is in my nature, and I cease to care at all.
Children with RAD have had to protect themselves from being hurt for so long that they often times hurt another person before they can be hurt. They single out the one person who can rescue them and then they hurt them, usually with words or behavior. As the "old man" trying to rescue them, I have been stung so much that my whole body is swollen (I'm not fat, it's scorpion stings!!) Our biological son does not speak, so I had never heard a child tell me they loved me. I had also never heard a child say they hated me. Ouch! Talk about a sting. My oldest daughter steals from us. Ouch! One child deliberately damages the things that mean the most to me. Ouch! They don't listen. Ouch! They hit each other. Ouch! They lie. Ouch! They argue. Ouch! They throw things. Ouch! I can feel my body swelling as I type. I cannot stop loving these children, and they cannot stop stinging me. My love for them can only get stronger, but as I keep loving them, and guiding them, and giving them boundaries, their stinging will lessen, and then, they will posess within themselves the ointment to soothe my scorpion stings, as well as some of their own stings. I just pray I never become immune to their stings, for that will be the time I lose what is in my nature, and I cease to care at all.
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