I love that moment after complete strife when you can take a deep sigh and the whole world lifts from your shoulders. I'd been weighted down with so much muck, that I had forgotten what it was like to "breathe easy." I know that the life that has chosen me will never be easy, but I feel like I've been given a "stay of execution." There were many times I wasn't sure we were going to survive.
A couple of times a year, I tend to let the stress build up until I become physically sick. Last Wednesday was one of those times. I'd spent every waking hour (many that shouldn't have been "waking hours") either studying, going to class, or meeting the infinite needs of my family. I needed a break and between the three areas, I wasn't going to get one. When I woke up Wednesday morning, I felt like dirt. I ached all over, had chills, and vomited everything I ate. My husband very reluctantly canceled his plans for the day, and I went back to bed. At about 11:30, he woke me saying, "I have good news, But since it's Wednesday, let's go to the chuch to see if we can get some food to last us until the end of the month. I'll tell you what the good news is on the way there. Our church has a program for people who need extra help with food, gas, etc. and they are only there on Wednesdays. We got the kids ready and got in the van. My head was still spinning, and my stomach was queasy, but I knew we needed some help to make it until the end of the month. On the way there, my husband told me he was approved for disability. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train. I hate that he had to file for disability, but he can no longer work, and I can't find a job, so we had to do something. We aren't the type of people who abuse this kind of help, so I guess I just need to forget my pride, and thank the Lord that we are getting the income we so desperately need. The chuch helped us enough that we will make it until we get his first check. I am eternally grateful.
The next day, I felt better. I was able to get my homework done and a friend watched the kids so I could have a little time to myself before class. I got to go shopping at Goodwill, my favorite store, and I spent about an hour getting things set for next term at school. It was then that I found out that I have a 4.0 in both of my classes. I'm so excited. I've never had a 4.0 in my life. Of course, I've never worked as hard as I have to get it, either. I'm so glad I decided to go back to school. My idea to start services for families with children who have attachment issues will hopefully be a reality in the near future!
E went to a friend's for the weekend. D went to Grandma and Grandpa's, so we only have the three youngest. They went to bed by 8:30, so we had a terrific evening together. We don't do that nearly as often as we need to.
Looks like I won't have to scrimp and save as much as I thought to pay for my way to Orlando. He will get a large lump sum for back pay, so I can finally get a stove that has more than one burner that works, and it doesn't shock you when you use a metal spoon. We'll probably never be able to get our savings back to where it was before I quit my job to take care of the kids, and hubby lost his job (over two years, now,) but at least things have lightened up a lot in just a few days. Man! I wish I could lose weight in my hips that fast!!
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